It's been a month since anything has been posted, but so much has happened. We were almost finished with our home study when a roadblock postponed our journey by about 6 weeks. That was 3 weeks ago. Everyone we spoke with said that these things happen and we agreed. A couple close friends and people familiar with the adoption process said that maybe our baby wasn't ready, and when everything is said and done, we will look back and know that God's sovereignty was all over this.
What happened though, is we sort of got lazy. I stopped researching, studying and was still putting off taking our 10 hours of course work that was needed for the completion. As we got closer, I was reminded I needed to get it done and quickly bought the courses online and bought a book I was recommended to read.
The book is "Fields of the Fatherless" by Tom Davis and I think it has literally changed my life. This adoption started as a "mistake." I sometimes felt like we were just adopting because we were selfish and stupid. Now I am starting to see how huge God the Father really is and I am literally moved to tears. What was meant for evil can be redeemed. I have come to that realization that none of this is about me or my story. My story is fairly insignificant. This whole adoption picture is a reflection of our Heavenly Father, taking us in, adopting us as his own. Every person has a longing for something greater. Even Tom Brady said in an interview, after countless victories, millions of dollars, beautiful women etc., that there is just something more. There is a longing that must be filled.
The eighteenth-century British philosopher, Edmund Burke, said this, "The definition of evil in the world is when good men and women see injustice and do nothing." I read that and was a little uncomfortable. It still makes me uncomfortable because there is a fear that I will write these things, and I will do this now and my fear is in a year, my life won't look any different. And, frankly, it's not doing something just for the sake of humanity, but because each an every person out there is not merely a statistic; they have hearts, souls, desires and dreams. They cry, they laugh, they sing.
One of the resources I saw was a video link for InvisibleChildren.com. When I downloaded it, I didn't find what I thought was right, but started watching anyway. It was about three guys who flew to Africa right as the war in Iraq had started. I watched, and they were funny, so I figured even if it was wrong, it was passing time while giving plasma.
I had to finish watching the video at home. This is how it happened: I put on my Asics running shoes I bought at Scheel's for a race, Puma shorts that I bought at the mega Scheel's, and a t-shirt I bought on vacation at Mazatlan. I downloaded the video to my DroidX and walked on my NordicTrack. As I walked and watched, I bawled. Here I am, trying to work off the holiday weight so I can get back into my skinny jeans comfortably and I am watching a documentary about children in Uganda running from rebels so that they aren't abducted and forced to kill other children. I watched 5-year-old boys carry guns as trained 'assassins'. That boy is Carter's age. We are the same, but I live here, and they live there.
I'm not saying you are a horrible person if you shop at Scheel's, or walk on a treadmill, or enjoy the blessings you have in your life, etc. But I plead with you to watch this short film and think how you could help. How you can be your brother's keeper. How you can influence the widow, orphan or stranger in your context.
No one really likes watching and reading those things, because frankly it's sad and I don't have time to sort it out, or adopt or feed each child. But at the end of the video, this boy cried and just asked that someone remember them. I don't ever want to forget it. I don't know where this will lead us. I don't know how it will happen, all I know is that my heart's desire is for joy and peace, not just mere happiness. I don't want to become heavy with accumulated stuff that is so temporal. I want to impact people, lives, children, the broken and the hurting.
I don't know if I ever would have stumbled on this had I rushed through the last couple weeks because I never would have taken the time to look it up. I was so excited to rush through the home study, I wasn't taking time with God, relishing his work, his plan and his power. I was faced with myself and was forced to quiet down just a bit, and I am sincerely grateful for it.
We know this first adoption will be domestic, but I am already working on James and praying for the next adoption or area of ministry. I am asking God, "...what did you bless me with, that I could share to help another?" I will fail. I will be overcome with selfishness. I will buy something I don't need or dwell on something that is insignificant. I am not perfect. I am merely faced with my brokenness and desperately want to make a change. Maybe it won't even be a ripple in the grand scheme of life. But maybe it will.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
It keeps going...
We are almost complete with our home study. We have started receiving e-mails from our social worker Lindsey and we are so excited about what God has been doing.
In the United States, with the agency we are using, this is how it works:
1. Complete the home study--which has been about a 3 month long project
2. Start filling out paperwork for grants, etc.
3. Create a profile book--which is a book about your family, interests, what we do on a day to day basis and it ends with a letter to the expectant mom and dad that we write.
4. We are waiting for the rest of our profile books to print and then we give those to Lindsey, who then (with our permission on each case) will send them to the mom and dad of the baby. Then mom and dad look at 5-6 profile books and decide who they want to be the adoptive parents of their child. We find out the exact cost (as it differs slightly with each case depending on lawyer feeds, expenses for a mom who doesn't have medical care or who isn't being provided for by the father of the child, agency fees, etc.)
The e-mails we get are a basic, confidential profile stating the age of mom and dad and involvement of parents in the process. Some immediately state that they will give up their parental rights, whereas others say, dad might want to parent, mom knows she can't. It's so complicated and it's difficult because I just want to pour my heart into the first e-mail I got for parents and say, "US, US!!! PICK US!" but obviously, that's just not how it is.
At first, it was easy to look at mom and dad as just the biological DNA, but as we continue on, I am reminded that these parents are faced with the hardest decision of their lives and each one of them has a soul. Each one has a life, dreams, goals, hopes and desires for their lives. Some are going back to school and just know they can't handle it. Others may not have as great as ambitions, but at the end of the day, they go to sleep every night hoping that the next day is better, they'll get more done and they will do the best they can with what they have.
So much has changed since we began. A couple weeks ago, we were gender specific, on a female, based on the fact that Graycie is the only girl on both sides of the family thus far. We only wanted a distant adoption, so there would be no fear involved of a mom or dad showing up on the doorstep saying, "can I just come and see..." etc. I have had somewhat of a closed hand on the subject of what I am comfortable with. We were encouraged to open our scope from just girls to the unknown, and agreed that we never chose that Graycie was a girl and Carter was a boy, but that God knew that while he formed them in my womb. So, why now try to force his hand in that?
We were recently faced with a decision of a local adoption as well and I felt that God was asking me, "Is this about you and your comfort level, or is this about me? Do you trust me or not?" It's somewhat scary, but I often wonder how much do I make decisions out of what my heart is comfortable with? I often hide behind self-preservation, acting as if it's just utilizing discernment, when really, is it? I have found that it could be, but lately it hasn't been the discernment, but a fear of getting hurt. A fear of attaching to a child and being so afraid that someone will want our baby back. A fear that I won't be able to recover from a broken heart. There are obvious things we would do with a local adoption in the spirit of wisdom, but have felt that I need to trust in Him more and more and this seems to be the platform He is using to challenge those beliefs and patterns of preservation of mine.
So, at this point, I have no idea what is going to happen, what we will get or when. All I know is I want to be a mommy to a child and show them a good family where it is safe and there is love and protection. I am excited for my children to meet their new sibling...and Carter, now has indicated that he has a little brother he is taking with him everywhere, which is a yellow elephant. We'll have to discuss the issue of pulling siblings by the ears, but that should be easy. The elephant's name is, "Elephant" and I'm making the executive decision right now, that baby's name will not be "Baby."
We are so good, so blessed and encouraged by the continued support through prayer, support from the random checks in the mail with notes encouraging us in this 'mission field' we are on, and the people who literally have come out of the woodwork of crazy stories of their own families who have adopted.
Thank you so much. melanie & james
In the United States, with the agency we are using, this is how it works:
1. Complete the home study--which has been about a 3 month long project
2. Start filling out paperwork for grants, etc.
3. Create a profile book--which is a book about your family, interests, what we do on a day to day basis and it ends with a letter to the expectant mom and dad that we write.
4. We are waiting for the rest of our profile books to print and then we give those to Lindsey, who then (with our permission on each case) will send them to the mom and dad of the baby. Then mom and dad look at 5-6 profile books and decide who they want to be the adoptive parents of their child. We find out the exact cost (as it differs slightly with each case depending on lawyer feeds, expenses for a mom who doesn't have medical care or who isn't being provided for by the father of the child, agency fees, etc.)
The e-mails we get are a basic, confidential profile stating the age of mom and dad and involvement of parents in the process. Some immediately state that they will give up their parental rights, whereas others say, dad might want to parent, mom knows she can't. It's so complicated and it's difficult because I just want to pour my heart into the first e-mail I got for parents and say, "US, US!!! PICK US!" but obviously, that's just not how it is.
At first, it was easy to look at mom and dad as just the biological DNA, but as we continue on, I am reminded that these parents are faced with the hardest decision of their lives and each one of them has a soul. Each one has a life, dreams, goals, hopes and desires for their lives. Some are going back to school and just know they can't handle it. Others may not have as great as ambitions, but at the end of the day, they go to sleep every night hoping that the next day is better, they'll get more done and they will do the best they can with what they have.
So much has changed since we began. A couple weeks ago, we were gender specific, on a female, based on the fact that Graycie is the only girl on both sides of the family thus far. We only wanted a distant adoption, so there would be no fear involved of a mom or dad showing up on the doorstep saying, "can I just come and see..." etc. I have had somewhat of a closed hand on the subject of what I am comfortable with. We were encouraged to open our scope from just girls to the unknown, and agreed that we never chose that Graycie was a girl and Carter was a boy, but that God knew that while he formed them in my womb. So, why now try to force his hand in that?
We were recently faced with a decision of a local adoption as well and I felt that God was asking me, "Is this about you and your comfort level, or is this about me? Do you trust me or not?" It's somewhat scary, but I often wonder how much do I make decisions out of what my heart is comfortable with? I often hide behind self-preservation, acting as if it's just utilizing discernment, when really, is it? I have found that it could be, but lately it hasn't been the discernment, but a fear of getting hurt. A fear of attaching to a child and being so afraid that someone will want our baby back. A fear that I won't be able to recover from a broken heart. There are obvious things we would do with a local adoption in the spirit of wisdom, but have felt that I need to trust in Him more and more and this seems to be the platform He is using to challenge those beliefs and patterns of preservation of mine.
So, at this point, I have no idea what is going to happen, what we will get or when. All I know is I want to be a mommy to a child and show them a good family where it is safe and there is love and protection. I am excited for my children to meet their new sibling...and Carter, now has indicated that he has a little brother he is taking with him everywhere, which is a yellow elephant. We'll have to discuss the issue of pulling siblings by the ears, but that should be easy. The elephant's name is, "Elephant" and I'm making the executive decision right now, that baby's name will not be "Baby."
We are so good, so blessed and encouraged by the continued support through prayer, support from the random checks in the mail with notes encouraging us in this 'mission field' we are on, and the people who literally have come out of the woodwork of crazy stories of their own families who have adopted.
Thank you so much. melanie & james
Monday, November 15, 2010
Words can't describe what words can't describe...
Well, if you have read James' post, this might seem a little redundant. Last Tuesday, both of us were hitting brick walls in this process. What I thought was going to go through, wasn't and the way it "was supposed to happen" wasn't happening. I took last Tuesday afternoon to be quiet, read and realize that I wasn't seeking the Lord as my refuge, or safe place amidst the chaos. I was seeking financial security and affirmation, or a pat on the back, from those around me to push forward. The problem with that, is money comes and goes and all belongs to God--so it means little. Second, as much as I might want someone's approval, it amounts to nothing and it doesn't really matter whether critics and cynics agree.
I have been insecure that we are going about it the wrong way and maybe we should have waited for the house to sell, or for the savings to be full, or to not feel overwhelmed anymore. The only thing about relying solely on pragmatic thinking, is that it leaves little room for faith--and unfortunately, I have a tendency to do everything on my to do list and try and take credit for God's handiwork.
Last Wednesday, someone handed James a recycled envelope with the once intended recipient crossed out and our names written in ballpoint pen. It was a check for $10,000 for the adoption. Because I never have the appropriate response (it seems like my emotions are always about a week behind) I sat there stunned while James wept for joy.
I insisted that James call this person, and he did. The person simply said that he felt the Lord leading him to get rid of some money and he wanted to help us with the adoption. He only requested to remain anonymous because he wanted God alone to receive the glory.
It makes 'sense' for someone with a great job, or for a retired person to gift someone something like that, but not a young person in their twenties. I am also humbled by all the others who have decided to move forward in the One of 2 fundraiser as well. James and I joked that this sort of stuff happens to good people and so we're not really sure why we are in the middle of it. I'm struck by God's grace and mercy and am convinced that it confirms that God uses fools sometimes to complete his will.
We met with the social worker on Friday to go through the last parts of our home study and to talk about the remainder of the process. I asked if it was about 4-6 months away from the actual placement and she stated that it could be closer than that!
Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. We appreciate every bit of it and absolutely feel that we're living in Acts 2. Our pastor asked us to share briefly yesterday at church about this story. When we were through, our missional community surrounded us and the leader prayed. I love the image of these people surrounding us in this and know that the circle is much bigger than what was at the front of the church yesterday. I feel that my level of gratitude cannot be expressed anymore because words can't describe what words can't describe. m
I have been insecure that we are going about it the wrong way and maybe we should have waited for the house to sell, or for the savings to be full, or to not feel overwhelmed anymore. The only thing about relying solely on pragmatic thinking, is that it leaves little room for faith--and unfortunately, I have a tendency to do everything on my to do list and try and take credit for God's handiwork.
Last Wednesday, someone handed James a recycled envelope with the once intended recipient crossed out and our names written in ballpoint pen. It was a check for $10,000 for the adoption. Because I never have the appropriate response (it seems like my emotions are always about a week behind) I sat there stunned while James wept for joy.
I insisted that James call this person, and he did. The person simply said that he felt the Lord leading him to get rid of some money and he wanted to help us with the adoption. He only requested to remain anonymous because he wanted God alone to receive the glory.
It makes 'sense' for someone with a great job, or for a retired person to gift someone something like that, but not a young person in their twenties. I am also humbled by all the others who have decided to move forward in the One of 2 fundraiser as well. James and I joked that this sort of stuff happens to good people and so we're not really sure why we are in the middle of it. I'm struck by God's grace and mercy and am convinced that it confirms that God uses fools sometimes to complete his will.
We met with the social worker on Friday to go through the last parts of our home study and to talk about the remainder of the process. I asked if it was about 4-6 months away from the actual placement and she stated that it could be closer than that!
Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. We appreciate every bit of it and absolutely feel that we're living in Acts 2. Our pastor asked us to share briefly yesterday at church about this story. When we were through, our missional community surrounded us and the leader prayed. I love the image of these people surrounding us in this and know that the circle is much bigger than what was at the front of the church yesterday. I feel that my level of gratitude cannot be expressed anymore because words can't describe what words can't describe. m
Thursday, November 4, 2010
As a "believer" I have lived in such an unbelieving way! (A Note from James)
Mel asked me to join her in blogging about our adoption. I have been telling myself I need to get after it and get it done. In light of some recent events I was moved to write last night and we decided to post that here! I am not sure why but I also feel compelled to say that I am as excited for this adoption as Mel is and we are in this 100% together as a family! This is my heart from last night!
I don't even know where to begin, so I will just start by saying this is my heart and I just want to write what I know to be true! I am well aware of those who would say what I believe is untrue and some would say that what I believe is weird and out there, and others would say well it works for you, but not for me! I understand. I am not going to get into all the arguments and things like that. However what I do want to do is give glory and credit where credit is due. I am reminded of something the Bible says "If God is for us, who can be against us?"
The reason I am writing this is to tell a little bit of the story of my life and how God has absolutely changed my life, he has given me a new heart, and only God has the power to change the human heart! I know that God has changed my heart and continues to change my heart through the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! I am the kind of guy who is always working an angle, selfish, self centered, self obsessed, always thinking how my next move can benefit me. If you knew me before you would know that I was even worse, praise God for the work He has already done in my heart! Philippians 1:6 says And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ! Even today I need to recognize how selfish I can be! I hate to say it but if you only knew!! By the grace of God and Jesus Christ's finished work on the cross I am forgiven and righteous before God the Father! It is important for me to tell you that I don't deserve it, that's what makes it grace! I also should add that there is much more than just selfishness going on in my life as a broken man trying to rest in what Christ has done!
I say all this to show that God is faithful to the faithless, I have been realizing that when I have fear, or anxiety, or worry, I am not resting in the fact that God is my provider! I am not believing that He can do all things! My wife and I have been praying through and talking about adoption ever since I selfishly bullied her into being "OK" with me getting a vasectomy. I did not want any more kids as 2 was plenty! Not realizing that as a woman, my wifes desire to be a mom and love and nurture our children and have children was not a bad thing, it was written on her heart by God, and I selfishly took that away! My heart breaks for the moms who want to stay home with their children and can't b/c choices have been made. I often wonder if some of these women were asked, when their kids are all grown and living their lives, if they could have it to do all over again would they do it differently? I can't even begin to tell you the change I saw in my children when Mel started staying home with them! And the relationship she has with them today! No amount of money in the work place could compensate for what she does in our home! I want to publicly say that my wife is the pulse of our family, 2nd only to Jesus!
So when we talked with another couple who was adopting, they told us their story of how God had been moving in their life and their adoption, I began to cry as a realized there was redemption. I knew in my heart that God had just shown me a way to redeem what I had taken away from Mel! Some time passed and God continued to change our hearts, when Mel talked with me and we decided to move forward and adopt! I am sure that I am missing some details and that Mel would be happy to fill them in! We then started to go through the process and we got 1/2 way through the home study when we got the first bill $1400. Well needless to say the doubt set in and we were hit with unbelief. Did we make a mistake? Are we sure this is the right thing? This is only the 1st payment, if we can't make this how are we going to do the rest? Discouraged is an understatement! I was having a bad day and so was Mel! I spoke with Pastor Brett and realized that I was not trusting in God as our provider! I also forgot that all the money on this planet happens to be Gods, yup even the money in your pocket! LOL, I believe that now! By the end of the day Mel and I decided that we would trust in God in this adoption and that what we were doing was the right thing as we were going to give a child a chance to have a forever family and a shot at being loved by a mommy who was created by God to love her and love her well with a love that she sees in Jesus Christ!
Last night we took time to talk and pray to the God of the Bible, and then today we had what looked like a normal day until we were absolutely blown away by God and His amazing generosity! I was given an envelope and all he said was "I just wanted to help you guys with your adoption!" I was like "hey thanks man" and I put it in my pocket. When Mel got home I said hey we got an envelope from_______ and I opened it! The first thing I looked at was the amount in the little box. $10,000.00 I looked at Mel and said this is not real, I have to admit that there was part of me that was upset that he would do something like this! It is amazing how fast thoughts can go through your mind. I then checked the print in case there was just a misplaced coma or decibel point. Ten thousand dollars! I started to weep as I realized that God had just answered our prayer in a way that only the Creator of all things could! I was then reminded of something I have heard " who are we that you are mindful of us?" So I called him and he very politely said that God had been putting on his heart that he should get rid of some money and he wanted to help us out! He later sent a text that said, "Hey all I ask is that you don't tell people that I gave you money because I don't want a bunch of praise or anything like that. To God alone be the glory." TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY! I have heard stories like these but it is usually people who have 10 X's the faith that I have! But I guess that depends on how you define faith! I don't think it has anything to do with "leap of" I think God defines it in his scriptures. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the ASSURANCE of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
I BELIEVE!
If more people loved like Jesus Christ imagine what the world would look like!
I apologize to all that my life has not always looked like a life lived for Jesus who shed His blood for me! But by His grace and mercy I will continue to grow into the man he created me to be!
Have Faith! Love like Jesus!
I don't even know where to begin, so I will just start by saying this is my heart and I just want to write what I know to be true! I am well aware of those who would say what I believe is untrue and some would say that what I believe is weird and out there, and others would say well it works for you, but not for me! I understand. I am not going to get into all the arguments and things like that. However what I do want to do is give glory and credit where credit is due. I am reminded of something the Bible says "If God is for us, who can be against us?"
The reason I am writing this is to tell a little bit of the story of my life and how God has absolutely changed my life, he has given me a new heart, and only God has the power to change the human heart! I know that God has changed my heart and continues to change my heart through the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! I am the kind of guy who is always working an angle, selfish, self centered, self obsessed, always thinking how my next move can benefit me. If you knew me before you would know that I was even worse, praise God for the work He has already done in my heart! Philippians 1:6 says And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ! Even today I need to recognize how selfish I can be! I hate to say it but if you only knew!! By the grace of God and Jesus Christ's finished work on the cross I am forgiven and righteous before God the Father! It is important for me to tell you that I don't deserve it, that's what makes it grace! I also should add that there is much more than just selfishness going on in my life as a broken man trying to rest in what Christ has done!
I say all this to show that God is faithful to the faithless, I have been realizing that when I have fear, or anxiety, or worry, I am not resting in the fact that God is my provider! I am not believing that He can do all things! My wife and I have been praying through and talking about adoption ever since I selfishly bullied her into being "OK" with me getting a vasectomy. I did not want any more kids as 2 was plenty! Not realizing that as a woman, my wifes desire to be a mom and love and nurture our children and have children was not a bad thing, it was written on her heart by God, and I selfishly took that away! My heart breaks for the moms who want to stay home with their children and can't b/c choices have been made. I often wonder if some of these women were asked, when their kids are all grown and living their lives, if they could have it to do all over again would they do it differently? I can't even begin to tell you the change I saw in my children when Mel started staying home with them! And the relationship she has with them today! No amount of money in the work place could compensate for what she does in our home! I want to publicly say that my wife is the pulse of our family, 2nd only to Jesus!
So when we talked with another couple who was adopting, they told us their story of how God had been moving in their life and their adoption, I began to cry as a realized there was redemption. I knew in my heart that God had just shown me a way to redeem what I had taken away from Mel! Some time passed and God continued to change our hearts, when Mel talked with me and we decided to move forward and adopt! I am sure that I am missing some details and that Mel would be happy to fill them in! We then started to go through the process and we got 1/2 way through the home study when we got the first bill $1400. Well needless to say the doubt set in and we were hit with unbelief. Did we make a mistake? Are we sure this is the right thing? This is only the 1st payment, if we can't make this how are we going to do the rest? Discouraged is an understatement! I was having a bad day and so was Mel! I spoke with Pastor Brett and realized that I was not trusting in God as our provider! I also forgot that all the money on this planet happens to be Gods, yup even the money in your pocket! LOL, I believe that now! By the end of the day Mel and I decided that we would trust in God in this adoption and that what we were doing was the right thing as we were going to give a child a chance to have a forever family and a shot at being loved by a mommy who was created by God to love her and love her well with a love that she sees in Jesus Christ!
Last night we took time to talk and pray to the God of the Bible, and then today we had what looked like a normal day until we were absolutely blown away by God and His amazing generosity! I was given an envelope and all he said was "I just wanted to help you guys with your adoption!" I was like "hey thanks man" and I put it in my pocket. When Mel got home I said hey we got an envelope from_______ and I opened it! The first thing I looked at was the amount in the little box. $10,000.00 I looked at Mel and said this is not real, I have to admit that there was part of me that was upset that he would do something like this! It is amazing how fast thoughts can go through your mind. I then checked the print in case there was just a misplaced coma or decibel point. Ten thousand dollars! I started to weep as I realized that God had just answered our prayer in a way that only the Creator of all things could! I was then reminded of something I have heard " who are we that you are mindful of us?" So I called him and he very politely said that God had been putting on his heart that he should get rid of some money and he wanted to help us out! He later sent a text that said, "Hey all I ask is that you don't tell people that I gave you money because I don't want a bunch of praise or anything like that. To God alone be the glory." TO GOD ALONE BE THE GLORY! I have heard stories like these but it is usually people who have 10 X's the faith that I have! But I guess that depends on how you define faith! I don't think it has anything to do with "leap of" I think God defines it in his scriptures. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the ASSURANCE of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
I BELIEVE!
If more people loved like Jesus Christ imagine what the world would look like!
I apologize to all that my life has not always looked like a life lived for Jesus who shed His blood for me! But by His grace and mercy I will continue to grow into the man he created me to be!
Have Faith! Love like Jesus!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wowsa...
Hello Friends,
As we finish up October, I am amazed that it could be just as close as 8 months from now that we could have new "Baby Iverson" in our home. There is so much going on as we start our fund raising process, that I am almost stunned-still. I am feeling like I'm not doing enough, and I'm reminded of Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" and in that, it reminds me, that this is not about me.
I don't feel like I have 'wanted' for a lot of things that I couldn't have. As it turns out, I am so stinking blessed, it's not really funny. I have liked to be the person who tries to help others, so as I sit in this position, relying solely on God and how He uses other people, I am challenged beyond what I have ever been challenged. People always say, "let go and let God" or, "we're just trusting in God for this" and to be honest, I have said that, and then turned around to do what I need to do to get what I want. So, as James says, "It's time to put our money where our mouth is!"
We are at a slight halt in the process, as the homestudy cannot go forward without a check in the mail to the agency. We have some, but not all of what needs to be sent. So, I am marketing my furniture a bit more aggressively online and have made some post cards to: 1. let people know, who don't already, what our mission is in this adoption, and 2. to see if anyone wants to join us to partner in this with our family.
I have never done a missions trip based on fund raising and the only way I have done things similar is to sell a ticket so someone gets to attend an event...which just pays for an experience that is tangible, I guess. So, I will be sending these out shortly and it is absolutely an exercise of dropping to my knees, leveling my pride and asking for help. Even now, as I type, I am mulling over each word, for fear of what others might think and debating each statement. In reality, it doesn't really matter what I say or where I strategically place each coma and period. I really believe that God absolutely has control over this situation and know that we will press on, until we are forced to stop or until our daughter gets to come home.
We will be dedicating Carter and Gracyie at church Sunday and will be able to share a bit more about what God is doing and has done in our hearts and lives. In the mean time, the need, as it is currently, would be to prayerfully anticipate 13 people from our 'One of 200' cards, to feel compelled to move on this with us at this stage.
If you have sent me your address, thank you! If not and you want to, please shoot me an e-mail, fb or text. Thanks for your continued encouragement and love. melanie
As we finish up October, I am amazed that it could be just as close as 8 months from now that we could have new "Baby Iverson" in our home. There is so much going on as we start our fund raising process, that I am almost stunned-still. I am feeling like I'm not doing enough, and I'm reminded of Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" and in that, it reminds me, that this is not about me.
I don't feel like I have 'wanted' for a lot of things that I couldn't have. As it turns out, I am so stinking blessed, it's not really funny. I have liked to be the person who tries to help others, so as I sit in this position, relying solely on God and how He uses other people, I am challenged beyond what I have ever been challenged. People always say, "let go and let God" or, "we're just trusting in God for this" and to be honest, I have said that, and then turned around to do what I need to do to get what I want. So, as James says, "It's time to put our money where our mouth is!"
We are at a slight halt in the process, as the homestudy cannot go forward without a check in the mail to the agency. We have some, but not all of what needs to be sent. So, I am marketing my furniture a bit more aggressively online and have made some post cards to: 1. let people know, who don't already, what our mission is in this adoption, and 2. to see if anyone wants to join us to partner in this with our family.
I have never done a missions trip based on fund raising and the only way I have done things similar is to sell a ticket so someone gets to attend an event...which just pays for an experience that is tangible, I guess. So, I will be sending these out shortly and it is absolutely an exercise of dropping to my knees, leveling my pride and asking for help. Even now, as I type, I am mulling over each word, for fear of what others might think and debating each statement. In reality, it doesn't really matter what I say or where I strategically place each coma and period. I really believe that God absolutely has control over this situation and know that we will press on, until we are forced to stop or until our daughter gets to come home.
We will be dedicating Carter and Gracyie at church Sunday and will be able to share a bit more about what God is doing and has done in our hearts and lives. In the mean time, the need, as it is currently, would be to prayerfully anticipate 13 people from our 'One of 200' cards, to feel compelled to move on this with us at this stage.
If you have sent me your address, thank you! If not and you want to, please shoot me an e-mail, fb or text. Thanks for your continued encouragement and love. melanie
Monday, October 18, 2010
Quick Note...
Hello Friends! I wanted to post a quick link for our first efforts at fundraising. It's called Just Love Coffee and it's an organization set up to help people who are trying to raise the funds for an adoption!
Being that we have a boat load of people we know who love coffee, I thought this organization would be a perfect avenue for our fundraising efforts. Please check out the link and purchase some coffee. The organization supports orphans and their families, families who are fundraising for orphans and the Fair Trade farmers. We will receive $5 for each bag of coffee purchased and so each bag really helps.
Thanks for your continued support!
Iversons
http://www.justlovecoffee.com/iversonblessings
Being that we have a boat load of people we know who love coffee, I thought this organization would be a perfect avenue for our fundraising efforts. Please check out the link and purchase some coffee. The organization supports orphans and their families, families who are fundraising for orphans and the Fair Trade farmers. We will receive $5 for each bag of coffee purchased and so each bag really helps.
Thanks for your continued support!
Iversons
http://www.justlovecoffee.com/iversonblessings
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Home Study II
So, I didn't talk much about our first home study in the last blog. The first one we mostly went through our families of origin and seriously, if we weren't disqualified from it there, we should be good to go!
This second home study was on Saturday morning and we talked about our marriage. It's funny, but they really have to analyze everything in these studies. As we went through and dissected our strengths and weaknesses, it was surprising how honest we were about our struggles. One would think that you would put your best foot forward, but instead, I felt like we were baring quite a lot. I think Lindsey, our SW, must bring the honesty out in us!
Needless to say, after the tears were wiped, and our failures as spouses exposed, I felt strangely closer to James. In our marriage, we have had such ups and downs, but the best part is that our level of transparency with one another has absolutely increased. I think that going into marriage, we say things like, "yeah, I know it'll be hard" and "sure, we know we'll have to work at it," but I think secretly, in the stillness of our hearts, we often mislead ourselves to think, "but we're different because..." or "we're going to try harder than they did" etc, etc. But the reality is that in this process of sanctification, it usually has to get rough before it gets authentically better.
We, like gold, go through that refining process; the gold must be tested at such high heat that all the impurities are brought to the surface, so that the one crafting it can skim those impurities off the top and make their masterpiece a better quality at the end.
At this time, that's where we are. Going through the fire, being tested and ultimately trusting that our Creator is crafting us in such a way to make us better parents, friends and lovers. I love the quote by Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage where he says: "Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over--expectations, or thanksgivings."
In this process of adoption, we are coming against a number of obstacles and it's easy to be overcome with self-doubt, fear and anxiety. It's easy to think to myself, maybe we're not ready because we're so immature sometimes, or maybe once we stop having stupid fights over which thing in the budget stays or goes, we should move forward. I think that we are just in a lifelong process of refining and 'the time' will never come. Despite any book you read or counseling you receive, no one is 'ready' for life. We make choices, which shapes our lives and perceptions and right now, we're we're choosing this. Until the door closes, we're moving forward.
So, thanks friends, for sitting in the front seat and watching it unfold. m
This second home study was on Saturday morning and we talked about our marriage. It's funny, but they really have to analyze everything in these studies. As we went through and dissected our strengths and weaknesses, it was surprising how honest we were about our struggles. One would think that you would put your best foot forward, but instead, I felt like we were baring quite a lot. I think Lindsey, our SW, must bring the honesty out in us!
Needless to say, after the tears were wiped, and our failures as spouses exposed, I felt strangely closer to James. In our marriage, we have had such ups and downs, but the best part is that our level of transparency with one another has absolutely increased. I think that going into marriage, we say things like, "yeah, I know it'll be hard" and "sure, we know we'll have to work at it," but I think secretly, in the stillness of our hearts, we often mislead ourselves to think, "but we're different because..." or "we're going to try harder than they did" etc, etc. But the reality is that in this process of sanctification, it usually has to get rough before it gets authentically better.
We, like gold, go through that refining process; the gold must be tested at such high heat that all the impurities are brought to the surface, so that the one crafting it can skim those impurities off the top and make their masterpiece a better quality at the end.
At this time, that's where we are. Going through the fire, being tested and ultimately trusting that our Creator is crafting us in such a way to make us better parents, friends and lovers. I love the quote by Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage where he says: "Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over--expectations, or thanksgivings."
In this process of adoption, we are coming against a number of obstacles and it's easy to be overcome with self-doubt, fear and anxiety. It's easy to think to myself, maybe we're not ready because we're so immature sometimes, or maybe once we stop having stupid fights over which thing in the budget stays or goes, we should move forward. I think that we are just in a lifelong process of refining and 'the time' will never come. Despite any book you read or counseling you receive, no one is 'ready' for life. We make choices, which shapes our lives and perceptions and right now, we're we're choosing this. Until the door closes, we're moving forward.
So, thanks friends, for sitting in the front seat and watching it unfold. m
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Here Goes!
I'm not really sure where to start! Almost 2 1/2 years ago, my heart started to ache for more children. James and I wrestled for a long time whether or not we should reverse a vasectomy that we both agreed should never have been agreed upon. I personally spent a couple years asking the Lord to examine my heart...did I just want to be pregnant again? Did I think more children would simply complete me as a mother or the family as a whole? As I took time to dig deeper in my soul, I believe the Lord transformed on my heart, convicted me of my idols and strengthened what he, himself gave me.
The reality is I did love being pregnant and as I read the stories of Rachel and Hannah in the OT, I found my heart breaking. I had two healthy children, that are amazing and such a joy, but there was something that wasn't quite right. In our rush to grow up and travel and buy the things that would somehow fulfill us, I believe we missed something much deeper.
I remember a cold winter afternoon in January of 2009, Michelle Cody, my mentor and good friend, responded to my teary desires over a cup of coffee at the kitchen table. I expected she would give me a verse about the desires of my heart being good or something, but what I got was: "Well, sometimes we feel the pain from the consequences of our decisions, but what we mess up, God can make into good." I was hoping for a story of someone like me, who miraculously had children despite themselves and I did not feel like she delivered!
Now, I see the wisdom and strength in it. As time went on, we ran into more and more families who had gone through the adoption process or were going through it. My sister's brother and sister-in-law adopted two adorable boys, who were biological brothers. I would hear the stories of their first holiday's together where these brother's would walk up and say, "...so, you're my AUNT?" and how that was such a new concept because these boys had no family to speak of.
We met up with friends at church who had ridiculous stories about God's timing and sovereignty in their adoption and birthing processes and how that inspired the two of us to move forward. We started researching other countries and trying to figure out where we wanted to adopt this third Iverson baby from. We met with a couple whom we respect and I remember one of them saying, "God probably isn't going to care which place you adopt from; he is probably just going to ask if you were faithful to what you feel he is calling you to do."
So with that, this summer, we started contacting adoption agencies and finding which one would be the best fit. That is when Joni, my good friend and neighbor, introduced me to a friend who connected me with God's Children Adoption Agency, in Fergus Falls. I met with a social worker, who wasn't what I expected.
She walked into my entry in a pink sundress, black flip-flops with matching black toenail polish and a cool tattoo. We talked about adoption and her agency and although I think I was being covertly interviewed, I felt like I wanted to invite her back for a play-date with our kids. We set up an exchange of paperwork and it all began.
We had our first home study a week ago and our next one is tomorrow. The process starts with the 3-4 month long home study, and then it could be anywhere from 4-6 more months before we have a baby...which is stinking fast, if it goes that way!
I think we'll be planning events to raise some of the funds, which cover the cost of living expenses for the mom, administrative fees for time spent dealing with our paperwork, and unfortunately to offset the cost of advertising and PR. We have started reviewing grants and loans and will be selling anything that isn't nailed down to help in the process.
If you are reading...and you got all the way here...sorry for the novel, I ask a couple things: first, please pray. We know for a fact that this will not happen unless the Lord wills it. We trust that whatever the outcome, it will bring him glory and we want that to be the focus. Second, if you have time or ideas, I'm all ears on how to move the process along. I'm flying blind but willing to learn! Lastly, please get the word out. Any sort of word of mouth for the cause of adoption is helpful and anything helps offset these costs. It's not as far out of reach as I thought it was and I am so encouraged to see it moving along.
Until next posting, thanks for reading, praying and caring. melanie
The reality is I did love being pregnant and as I read the stories of Rachel and Hannah in the OT, I found my heart breaking. I had two healthy children, that are amazing and such a joy, but there was something that wasn't quite right. In our rush to grow up and travel and buy the things that would somehow fulfill us, I believe we missed something much deeper.
I remember a cold winter afternoon in January of 2009, Michelle Cody, my mentor and good friend, responded to my teary desires over a cup of coffee at the kitchen table. I expected she would give me a verse about the desires of my heart being good or something, but what I got was: "Well, sometimes we feel the pain from the consequences of our decisions, but what we mess up, God can make into good." I was hoping for a story of someone like me, who miraculously had children despite themselves and I did not feel like she delivered!
Now, I see the wisdom and strength in it. As time went on, we ran into more and more families who had gone through the adoption process or were going through it. My sister's brother and sister-in-law adopted two adorable boys, who were biological brothers. I would hear the stories of their first holiday's together where these brother's would walk up and say, "...so, you're my AUNT?" and how that was such a new concept because these boys had no family to speak of.
We met up with friends at church who had ridiculous stories about God's timing and sovereignty in their adoption and birthing processes and how that inspired the two of us to move forward. We started researching other countries and trying to figure out where we wanted to adopt this third Iverson baby from. We met with a couple whom we respect and I remember one of them saying, "God probably isn't going to care which place you adopt from; he is probably just going to ask if you were faithful to what you feel he is calling you to do."
So with that, this summer, we started contacting adoption agencies and finding which one would be the best fit. That is when Joni, my good friend and neighbor, introduced me to a friend who connected me with God's Children Adoption Agency, in Fergus Falls. I met with a social worker, who wasn't what I expected.
She walked into my entry in a pink sundress, black flip-flops with matching black toenail polish and a cool tattoo. We talked about adoption and her agency and although I think I was being covertly interviewed, I felt like I wanted to invite her back for a play-date with our kids. We set up an exchange of paperwork and it all began.
We had our first home study a week ago and our next one is tomorrow. The process starts with the 3-4 month long home study, and then it could be anywhere from 4-6 more months before we have a baby...which is stinking fast, if it goes that way!
I think we'll be planning events to raise some of the funds, which cover the cost of living expenses for the mom, administrative fees for time spent dealing with our paperwork, and unfortunately to offset the cost of advertising and PR. We have started reviewing grants and loans and will be selling anything that isn't nailed down to help in the process.
If you are reading...and you got all the way here...sorry for the novel, I ask a couple things: first, please pray. We know for a fact that this will not happen unless the Lord wills it. We trust that whatever the outcome, it will bring him glory and we want that to be the focus. Second, if you have time or ideas, I'm all ears on how to move the process along. I'm flying blind but willing to learn! Lastly, please get the word out. Any sort of word of mouth for the cause of adoption is helpful and anything helps offset these costs. It's not as far out of reach as I thought it was and I am so encouraged to see it moving along.
Until next posting, thanks for reading, praying and caring. melanie
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)